Happy Gotcha Day!!!

Dearest Ava-Yin,

!!! It's hard to believe it's only/already(?) been 2 years since we traveled to China to meet you and to make you a part of our family.

You were so brave those first few days. I can't imagine what was going on in your little mind. You were only 31/2 years old, and everything you had ever known was being completely taken away from you and off you were ushered into a brand new culture, language, and life, with brand new parents, two older brothers and one little sister. I am still amazed at how well you handled everything thrown your way. 

And now you've been a Kirkland for two years. You started pre-k at home this year, and I'm not surprised at how well you've taken to school! It brings me such joy to see you learning to read and write, and soak in information with such enthusiasm! You and Zoe play and play all day, and it just thrills me to no end that the two of you will never remember life without one another. I pray your relationship grows and flourishes as time continues on.

Your favorite things to do are swimming, Legos, cutting and gluing, and definitely wrestling with daddy!! You love anything girly-finger nail polish, hair bows, high heels (yikes!) 

We love you so much, little girl. I am so proud of all you are and have overcome. My prayer is the Lord continue to knit our hearts together so you never doubt our 

love for you. We love being your parents!! HAPPY GOTCHA DAY!!

Happy 5th birthday Ava-Yin!

Today is Ava-Yin's fifth birthday-her second one with us. Some of you have asked for an update on her progress and I can't tell you how encouraging that is to me-that you are still thinking of her and us. It's incredibly hard to believe she's only been with us for just over a year. It hasn't always been perfect, in fact, sometimes it looked really ugly, but the six of us are truly a family. The bond that we've prayed so hard for is there and only gets stronger with time. I am so thankful.

Ava-Yin today-

She loves movies and tv shows, 'Just Dance', and riding her bike.

She loves to eat junk food, paint her nails, and bake cookies.

She has the greatest imaginative play and tells the wildest, (loooongest) stories I've ever heard.

Her laughter fills the house when daddy tickles and plays with her and she loves to snuggle and cuddle just about anyone.

She speaks English fluently, can identify her upper and lower case letters and is learning their sounds.

Her health is fine, her development is as it should be, and she does well socially.

Her days are filled with Legos, dolls, tea parties, blankets, dress-ups and books.

Ava-Yin has transitioned beautifully into our family and we are so very thankful to call her our own.

Some random happenings over the last year...

There was the time she and Zoe sneaked downstairs and took a box of a dozen doughnuts into their room before anyone else was awake. When I finally figured out where the missing doughnuts were, there were 3 left. My guess is Zoe ate one and Ava-Yin polished off the other 7...& hid one more...which I found her eating later that day. She was completely bewildered when I told her she couldn't have anymore.

Another time, I walked into the girls' room to find the closet door and the light socket painted in fingernail polish because they 'didn't want it white anymore.' Thankfully, it was washable...but you can still see a blue tint around the socket. The girls are definite partners in crime and keep me on my toes!

The holidays were tons of fun. After trick or treating in our neighborhood, she asked, 'where do we go to pay for the candy?' And I loved her version of the Christmas story...at some point God and Rapunzel looked down at the baby Moses.

Speaking of Moses, she and Zoe take a Bible class with me and we are all studying God's relationship with Moses. Her quick understanding of God amazes me. Just last night she thanked God for being everywhere and taking care of all our needs. Could I ask for anymore?

She's a beautiful girl, and every night I tell her I love her and am so proud of her. 

 

Why is everyone else OK?

We're three months in. It feels hard to believe that it's only been that long, but that's it!

Ava-Yin's progress is remarkable. Since we are not having to deal with any health issues, she has been able to immerse herself wholly into our family without any interruptions. Her English retention is SO good. It amazes me how she uses pronouns and prepositions correctly, and how she remembers words we don't use often. She recites Scripture and loves to sing Katy Perry's song, 'Roar'....except it comes out more like 'wroawr'-super cute, especially with Zoe singing background vocals!!

She loves her brothers. She calls for Briton in the morning and loves for him to crawl in her bed and snuggle for a few Minutes. Caleb is her dancing buddy and overall pal. I'm even going to venture out and say she probably loves her sister, too;)...they continue to wrestle through their relationship, but I know God is working a beautiful thing between them, and He will be faithful to complete it...

Her favorite is daddy. He plays. He snuggles. He's a good, good thing for Ava-Yin, and even though I struggle with jealousy over their relationship, when I'm being objective, I can see why God called Lee to this adoption to begin with. Lee has been a great fit for her, for sure.

...which leads me to me. A couple of weeks ago, I was in a real battle with myself. It was super annoying, super consuming, super selfish...but it was real and it was raging. I was miserable. Everything was going great. Lee was great, The kids were great, life was great, school was great. Everything was great, great. Great. So what in the world was my problem?

I still don't think I really know. Maybe it was post-adoption depression, which is understandable. For the year leading up to travel to China, there was always the next step to look forward to. There was paperwork, training, fundraising. It was a year full of adrenaline rushes and deadlines. Then, we traveled, had an amazing experience getting our new daughter, came home, and for the next few weeks focused on settling her and everyone else. And then, we were settled. Everything settled.

...including this cloud of darkness in my mind.  I was irritable, impatient, frustrated, ill. Doesn't that sound like fun for everyone? And it wasn't that I wasn't spending time with The Lord. I was even getting up early as an extra measure to fix myself. But that wasn't working either.

And then, The Lord gently revealed to me, that maybe....just maybe...that was the problem. I was trying to fix myself. If myself needs fixin', then myself probably can't be the one to fix myself. 

From there, He brought me back to the basics- Thinking and pondering on God as my Father. He is Sovereign and His plans do not fail. He is wise, and His plans for me are best. He is kind, and His plans for me are loving.

What does all of this have to do with adoption, Ava-Yin and the family? It's a total game-changer. If my thoughts can be redirected from my imperfect, ugly self, to a Perfect, Beautiful Savior, then my entire outlook in life is just, plain, better. 

So that's kinda where I'm at in the process...there's always going to be tons of laundry, cleaning, cooking, and kids running around...lots of us are in that same boat. But rather than to get bogged down in all of that, I want to be able to laugh at the craziness of it all. Like, it's totally funny that Briton was outside, washing the dog, with the door wide open, pointing the hose into the dining room and spraying water all over the floor. Not really...that was annoying. I didn't laugh. God has a work to do in me, too...but He will be faithful to complete it in me as well.

Four+ weeks home

In my last blog post, we'd only left the house three times, Lee was returning to work and bedtime was...well...it was annoying.

Since then, Ava-Yin has been to worship team practice, Bible Study, church and the aquarium.  We've been able to leave her in very capable hands at church functions, and she's done really well...she thoroughly enjoys being out and about.

Lee went back to work for a week before his schedule changed to rotating 12hr night shifts. Jury is still out on how much we 'like' this new arrangement. He gets home from his 12-hr shift as we are waking up in the morning. He's ready for bed, the girls are ready to PLAY!! Good thing we have four very quiet, compliant children who sit downstairs and silently read books while their daddy is sleeping. 

Hehehe!!!

Bedtime is much better. I had to get a little bit creative, but now I'm able to put the girls down, and they play quietly until they go to sleep. This, I can live with!

We were also experiencing daily tantrums and immediate crying whenever Ava-Yin was told no, or not given what she wanted. Even these have tapered off. I'm guessing these were her control/manipulation methods at the orphanage, but she's finding it's not getting her very far here. Instead, she's giving tattle-taling a whirl! Makes for a great conversation since she's ratting her sister out in fluent Chinese!!

She and Zoe are still figuring out their sister roles. Zoe has had the toughest time, as we expected, and gives Ava-Yin a good run for her money.  But, there are nuggets of gold woven through the arguing and jealousy. Their sharing, playing, laughing and loving is slowly increasing. They're gonna be alright.

  Every night, I hold their little hands in mine and pray for The Lord to grow our love for one another. He is faithful and He will do it!

She's had several doctor appointments-mainly to give us a baseline for future reference-and all the doctors we have seen have been truly impressed by her development and health. We continue to be amazed that this healthy little girl had not already been adopted...just further proof that God chose her for us. 

Overall, we are thrilled at Ava-Yin's progress and transition into our family. It's not always pretty and A lot has been thrown at her in a very short period of time, but she takes it all in stride and with a good attitude. We are seeing a very smart, kind little girl emerging from her shell. 

Settling in...

I would like to be more patient. More gentle. Less frustrated. Less irritable.

Oh! And proper perspective all of the time. Easypeasy.

This last one is key...because overall, Ava-Yin has done AMAZING...and I mean, super, duper amazing. I didn't realize what a blessing the timing of the travel would be, but because it was over the Christmas/New Year season, Lee has not had to return to work yet-that happens on Thursday. Eeeek!

So...we've been able to totally focus on getting her into a routine. Did you know I like routine? It makes me blissfully happy, content, and feel in control when everyone in the household follows THE (aka MY) routine. I was so excited that we recovered from jet lag within a few days. Those 3:45am wake ups were killer! Once we had that hurdle jumped it was time to schedule her naps and bed times. 

She was all for it... HAHAHAHA!!

Look at this picture...aren't they cute?

Yeah, well, this took two hours...from 8-10...to get to this point. Not a part of the routine.

After a couple of nights of wild party in the girl's room, we decided to bunk their beds. Ava-Yin is on the top bunk, bc we figured she'd be less likely to try to climb down. Instead, she fell off five minutes after I walked out of the room. This was the first time she cried from being in pain. Whoops. No serious injuries though, and back up she went. She fell asleep after that.

Since then, at nap time and bed time, I post myself outside of their room until Ava-Yin is asleep. The goal is to not let them get riled up. So in and out I go. It seems like a really long time of persistent, tender-loving good nights...but it's really only been 15-30 minutes tops. <insert above wish list>

We do have immediate tears any time she is told no, or doesn't get her way. But, she suffers quietly,  and it's a great opportunity to snuggle and love on her. Sometimes, she seems to love us right back. Other times, she is barely tolerating us...hard to believe, isn't it? And then other times, she wants nothing to do with anyone...

When we aren't forcing slumber on her, we are playing and doing our daily chores and such. We've only left the house three times for very short in-town trips, and she's done well each time. It is a juggle trying to be sure all four of the kiddos are given good attention. Briton, Zoe and Ava-Yin demand it-usually at the same time, and usually about food. Sometimes I wonder if I've even spoken to Caleb during the day! Poor Bub!

At the end of the day, though, I can look back and be confident that this house is full of JOY. Thank you, Lord for joy.

Lee has just politely reminded me it's 7:02. Wish me luck! I'll be pacing outside a certain bedroom if anyone needs me!

JOY-Caleb and Ava-Yin.

The Day They First Met.

Aunt Mandy brought Caleb, Briton and Zoe home from Ga where they had been staying with Lee's parents for almost three weeks. HUGE SHOUT OUT to Ed and Ellen Kirkland and Mandy Cook for taking excellent care of these three while we were in China. Ed was our full-time care giver day in and day out....he's probably still sleeping and trying to recover. Ellen would work long hours at school and then come home and be the amazing Mamo she is to them all evening and all weekend long. I swear she never gets tired! And then Mandy drove all the way down from Newnan on several occasions to be an extra set of hands. You all are amazing and we thank you so much!

We put Ava-Yin down for an early nap and just let her sleep it out-hoping that would help to reset her clock- maybe then she'd sleep later than 3:15am the next morning. She had gone to sleep around 10am, and it was now 2, so we decided to get her up to get ready to meet her brothers and sister. Trouble is, you don't  actually wake Ava-Yin up. She sleeps so hard, that when forced awake, she's literally in a fog for quite some time.

And this was her state when the siblings arrived. Comatose standing up and eyes open. The boys spoke very gently to her and handed her small toys and did really well entering into her life. I just don't think she was awake to see it. Zoe didn't have too much to do with her. She gave me a huge hug, then ran outside to play. Ava-Yin stood by Lee or me and just watched. For a good hour. 

Then, like a light switch, she woke up out of her daze and began interacting with her new family. It was really fun to watch unfold. Even little Zoe, opened up and began talking to her big sister. The four played with toys, ran up and down the stairs, and played on the playground all afternoon and evening. Lots of joyful sounds.

Then the girls really became fast friends at bedtime! Took me an hour and being stationed outside their room on the stairs to finally get them settled down! I guess that's good for their bonding...even if it is teaming up against me!

Stateside

We couldn't have asked for a better travel buddy! Ava-Yin did great. We left our hotel at 8:30am and flew out of Guangzhou and into Beijing.

SECURITY was thorough at this place. At least four different checkpoints. We even had one on the bridge leading into the aircraft!!

Our flight to Detroit was 13 hours. She played, watched the tv screens, ate, etc. until 2am and then finally crashed for the last couple of hours.

We got put at the front of our very own customs line, so we avoided major wait times and gridlocks. And just like that, she became an American citizen! And we were done with our international travel.

From landing to our hotel shuttle was approximately 30 mins. Waaaay faster than I was expecting;)

We stayed up until 9pm and managed to sleep til 3:15am. Jet lag. Blah.

 We're hanging around the hotel for a while longer and then head to the airport for our final hop home!!